I know I have been gone for a while with the promise of coming back, but real recovery from long term depression is a journey and something that is taking a lot longer than I anticipated. I suppose in this instance, you do not know until you are going through it yourself.
I come bearing good news, everything is going well. I am on medication, which is helping a lot. I have a therapist whom I see one a week/fortnight and I have a doctor who is closely monitoring me and is doing a wonderful job of helping me recover.
I have spent my time recently keeping busy. As well as many appointments, I have begun attending language school so that I can learn Swedish fluently and make life here easier. For those of you who do not know, I am from the UK and I moved to Sweden around 18 months ago. It has been a long, hard journey and it is not over yet, but I am happy to say that it is totally worth it.
Finding myself surrounded by loving, caring, supportive people with zero toxicity for the first time in my life has made a huge different to my outlook and it has done wonders to aide me in retraining all of the things I learnt when I was brought up in a toxic environment. I cannot thank my Swedish family enough and I do not think they will ever know how much they have helped me.
Now, I say life is hard and it is, but for the first time in my life I am talking about “everyday struggles” which to me is great. It sure beats battling inner demons every single day. At this point my life is in my own hands and I will get out of it what I put in. So i intend on working hard and pushing myself to be as successful as I can possibly be.
I cannot say that I am 100% “cured”. I still have off days, down days, days where I feel like all the progress I have made was for naught. I have to find it within myself to fight through these days and remember that it will not last forever. I have nightmares almost every night and I wake up every morning at 4am, struggling to get back to sleep. Regardless of that, I am happier than I have ever been. Truly happy. No longer do I seek out to get lost in a fantasy world, because I have come to realise that the real world really is not that bad.
I am in the process now of changing the name of my blog, I will update you with the name and such on my next post.
Until next time, I hope you are doing okay and if you are not, you will get there. You can do it, I know you can!
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